Look People

OK People,

I have been asked a lot the past 3 1/2 weeks of this separation and divorce thing was mutual and I am writing to let everyone know, that NO, it was not. Nathan has chosen to forgo his wife and his family (he told me that he would be better off by himself because his family is drama and he couldn't wait to live far away from them). I will be filing papers within the next 30 days. I have filled them out and will be sending them to Nathan by the end of next week. I have consulted an attorney and he told me to just do it myself. The Wickes are notorious for taking their time and creating their own time line and the attorney told me to just do it myself since I'm still up here in the valley. It'll go faster.

He decided to take a job in Douglas, AZ where 99% of the community is Hispanic. The ward that he is in is awesome, the members are great and he will be well taken care of. As for his job, he wouldn't have his job if I didn't find it for him, apply for him and do all of the paperwork. He has the job because he also did a face 2 face interview and obviously did well. He'll find a Hispanic wife who will cater to him so I hope he finds one that is young and will do that.

For those that know him, please let him be in peace. Please let him live his life. I am not and will not talk ill of him even though he has made a choice to be by himself and to do whatever it is that he wants to do. Even if you don't know him, please let him live his life. Let him do what he wants, don't ask about me, if you want to know, ask me, I know myself better than anyone else. Please don't ask me about Nathan, if you want to know, ask him, he knows himself better than anyone else does.

I thought that I was growing to know him until now and now, I don't know him at all. He is not the same Nathan that I married in August 2007. He doesn't sound the same nor does he look the same. I can't even tell you right now what he would do in any circumstance.

I know that it sounds crazy and I know that it seems like I am not frustrated or distraught but I have to tell you that through temple attendance, through prayer and through many blessings I am at peace and that what I have now is because of knowing him and have been where I have gone with him and I am fine and happy. The Holy Ghost has testified to me that I will be comforted and that I will be taken care of and that Heavenly Father loves me.

I have been given a blessing by my former mission president who is now a patriarch and I was promised peace if I continue to move forward and not look back.

I have learned a great deal from Nathan mainly to focus on the promptings of the spirit. Thoughts, ideas and feelings come from the spirit and when they edify, uplift and love, I need to act on them and do to others what Heavenly Father would want to give to me. I have learned to follow through on LOVE. When I get the prompting to love, I need to do so just as my patriarchal blessing describes and help bless the lives of others. I love Nathan and I always will for what he has helped me gain and receive. He has helped mold me and change a lot of my way of thinking in certain aspects and to learn to listen and be open to many other ideas even though I may not understand the reason(s) or even agree. He may not care nor may he think the same and I don't care, it is what it is.

I have also learned too that shopping and pinching pennies is wonderful, however at the same time please don't forget about quality. I'm all about quality so I would rather pay A LOT for something and he has helped me to see that sometimes 2nd hand things may work just the same.

I pray that he has learned to stand up for himself and to not allow anyone to walk over him. I pray that he follows the spirit as well and follows his dreams and ambitions. I pray that he finds a wife just like his mother, especially if he is going to be exactly like his father. They'll make a great pair.

I also hope that he continue to wear his speedos because he has confidence in himself enough to do so and it throws people for a loop and I think that it is hilarious!

I will say that he hasn't slept crazy in the past 3 years. He has been calm and slept well as long as his back didn't bother him and he wasn't thinking during the night. It has been awesome. He has been blessed because of this.

This is what is happening and this is where I am right now.

Con Carino~

Karen