I have to admit that I have been cared for this summer despite all of the issues that I have gone through with Nathan or the lack of support from him because of choices that he has made, which ironically, has been kind of nice and peaceful. I can do things that I would like to do as Nathan didn't like to do things that I liked. In that respect, he is just like his dad, whom only wanted to do things that HE wanted to do and nobody else. Anyways, I have a wonderful ward that has cared for me since I explained to them that I'll be living in the ward and needed help and my friends and coworkers have been a great support as well. I have wonderful friends who have come to my rescue and have supported with with temporal and emotional areas.
I lived with Toni, PJ, Ashley and Jake (the dog) for the past 8 weeks and the day after I totally move out, the AC in their house died. It is still dead and I feel so bad because PJ is sleeping my my couch, Jake is hanging out with Kale (my dog) and Toni and Ashley are at her dads house (Ashley's) until we can all get it fixed. They have spent 2 nights at a hotel and spent Monday afternoon with me for Labor Day. They are HOPING that the AC will be fixed by Thursday because if not, it is going to be totally ugly with the management company and Toni and she is going to win.
Work is totally slow since the university has changed his matrix again and its enrolling strategies and policies. I do enjoy talking to my teachers though. They are hilarious whether they mean to be or not. I'm soooo grateful to have a job though because I'd be totally screwed if I didn't and I owe it all to Heavenly Father. He is totally looking out for me and Kale.
I still have the divorce papers. I need to look over them one more time and make sure all the "I" are dotted and all the "T" are crossed. I'm going to try to turn in the papers this week to get them out of my hands and in the hands of the courts so that way I don't have to worry about them anymore, not that I'm worrying about them anyways; I just want them turned in. The quicker the better for me because then I can move on.
I'm still planning on attending General Conference in October, going to Hawaii in November and going to OR/WA in December. I need to work extremely hard so that work will know that I mean business for work and that when I need a vacation, I need the vacation. I can't wait to see Sharon, Aunty Emily, Aunt Kelly and Uncle Paul and 7cousins, Tiffany and a couple of mission companies while in Utah. Its going to be awesome. I have to kind of wait it out and see if it is beneficial to fly or to drive myself. I won't really know until the day before I leave because I'm flying with Kenji via Continental standby. We all know how that works =D.
I think that next spring I'll go and see Kenji for a special occasion. I'll let him fill you in if you want to know more.
I have a few activities that I'll be doing this week also. I'll be fixing the ceiling/roof in my house too along with the primary presidency coming to visit on Thursday, picking up my bed and attending the Lamb of God musical on Friday, cleaning house on Saturday and having a BBQ and Swimming Party at the Phillips home Saturday night. Can't wait, it'll be fun.
Well, that is what is happening in my world right now. If anyone still cares, yes, I do still feel hurt, used and abused and I feel left alone. Do I cry? Yes, I cry. I cry on my way home from work and while I go pick up a few things from the store, yes I cry in the weirdest places. Do I feel neglected? Yes. Do I feel like nobody cares? Yes.
Did the Savior feel neglected, left alone and cry? Yes. Does he know how I feel going through this trial of my life? Heck yeah, he does. Are his arms wrapped around me? Yep and I know it. Do I pray that Nathan is fine? Yes. I hope that he is taken care of and that I hope that he realizes that his pride isn't worth what he has done and that someday, he'll catch on and that is between him and the Lord. Have I learned my lesson? Yes. Will I marry again? No. I don't need to nor do I want to. I cannot and will not take advantage of someone nor will I put myself in the place of being taken advantaged of, it isn't worth it and all it does is hurt people including the ones involved. The Saviors father loved him and allowed him to go through what he was asked to do, likewise, Heavenly Father is allowing me to go through this trial as well and his hands have been in it the entire time.
I need to get back to work. Thanks for reading. I love life...it is hilarious at times, stressful at others and glorious all in all.
Karen
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
A few pictures
of the new place. All of the furniture was given to me. The pillows I bought and everything else was already mine. When I get a dining room table and chairs and a bed and finish the office room, I'll take pictures of those areas but until then...enjoy.
A new vase with some beautiful white dried roses.
Liza and Heather gave me the red couch, Toni gave me the brown chair and the tables are 2 end tables pushed together to be a table in the middle because there was no room at the end of the red couch. Behind the couch is where the dining room table will go when I finally save my $$ to get one.
This is the living room from standing where the dining room table will go. Kale, is at the bottom right. The piano is wonderful. Right of it is the master bedroom with blankets just thrown on the floor until Friday. The picture that is sitting on the piano has now hanging above the piano. It is of King Solomons temple. Nathan decided he would steel the 2nd one, so he can have it, this one looks much nicer with the house, even though the other was beautiful too.
Another picture of the living room. I just realized that I forgot to take a picture of the front door area. I'll take one later when I get the dining room, the kitchen and the other 2 rooms ready.
A new vase with some beautiful white dried roses.
Liza and Heather gave me the red couch, Toni gave me the brown chair and the tables are 2 end tables pushed together to be a table in the middle because there was no room at the end of the red couch. Behind the couch is where the dining room table will go when I finally save my $$ to get one.
This is the living room from standing where the dining room table will go. Kale, is at the bottom right. The piano is wonderful. Right of it is the master bedroom with blankets just thrown on the floor until Friday. The picture that is sitting on the piano has now hanging above the piano. It is of King Solomons temple. Nathan decided he would steel the 2nd one, so he can have it, this one looks much nicer with the house, even though the other was beautiful too.
Another picture of the living room. I just realized that I forgot to take a picture of the front door area. I'll take one later when I get the dining room, the kitchen and the other 2 rooms ready.Thank you everyone for you help and support. I am truly amazed at how the Lord provides people in ones life to edify and uplift them and I am totally grateful for that.
Karen
Labor Day
Had a great weekend. I fixed up the house, I took pictures, brought the camera to work today and forgot the connection line, sooooo, I'll have to add pictures tomorrow when I bring the line.
I received a calling in Primary, yahoo! I'll be teaching Valiant 9, which are kids that are 9 turning 10. That is a great age. There are only 5 of them, 1 is less active because sports comes first in their family apparently. That is fine, I'll send a card to his house every time he does come to church that way he knows that I know that we as his class love him and that I care that he is there. Another boy is the youngest of 3 boys. He comes to church with is dad and his grandparents. I'm not sure exactly where his mom is but I'll figure it out within the next couple of weeks. Another boy is Maori. His dad is and his mom is haule. He has an older brother on a mission and one just left for MSU to play football. I was told that he only comes to class if he isn't asked to do anything so we'll see. I bet I can get him to help and do stuff, even give a talk.
There are 2 girls in my class and I can't remember their names right now. I'll know who they are on Sunday. I did sit between the two sexes and can't remember a thing. Everything is a blur.
Poor Toni, PJ, Ashley and Jake. They AC to their house went out on Saturday morning so they were stranded at a hotel, at Mikes and then at my house for the weekend. I've had Jake all weekend too to help keep Kale company. They came over on Monday afternoon and spent the day, watching movies, eating and swimming and walking the Dogs. I had to take Jake back over to their place this morning on my way in to work so that he could watch the house while everyone is out. I walked through the door and it was a cookin' 90-100 degrees in there. I immediately put him outside so that he wouldn't die. So, Kale is at home by himself today again. He better not bark while nobody is home. I feel so bad that he does because it would bug everyone that around there if their home.
I have the divorce papers all ready to go. I'm going to have a couple of people look them over though to see if they are filled in right and if everything that I have on there is right. I'll be hopefully taking them this Friday and if not, it'll be the middle of next week.
This week is full of things. I have institute tonight, fixing the ceiling/roof on Thursday, picking up my bed on Friday and going to the Lamb of God musical production at Gammage, and the ward BBQ and Swim Party on Saturday.
I don't have access to the Internet at home yet because Kent, Terri's husband can't come and connect it for at least another 3 days soooo, I'll be watching movies and going on lots of walks with Kale, which I like anyways. There is a park down the street anyways and heaven knows, that we both need the walk. As the weather begins to cool down, we'll go there more often.
Karen
I received a calling in Primary, yahoo! I'll be teaching Valiant 9, which are kids that are 9 turning 10. That is a great age. There are only 5 of them, 1 is less active because sports comes first in their family apparently. That is fine, I'll send a card to his house every time he does come to church that way he knows that I know that we as his class love him and that I care that he is there. Another boy is the youngest of 3 boys. He comes to church with is dad and his grandparents. I'm not sure exactly where his mom is but I'll figure it out within the next couple of weeks. Another boy is Maori. His dad is and his mom is haule. He has an older brother on a mission and one just left for MSU to play football. I was told that he only comes to class if he isn't asked to do anything so we'll see. I bet I can get him to help and do stuff, even give a talk.
There are 2 girls in my class and I can't remember their names right now. I'll know who they are on Sunday. I did sit between the two sexes and can't remember a thing. Everything is a blur.
Poor Toni, PJ, Ashley and Jake. They AC to their house went out on Saturday morning so they were stranded at a hotel, at Mikes and then at my house for the weekend. I've had Jake all weekend too to help keep Kale company. They came over on Monday afternoon and spent the day, watching movies, eating and swimming and walking the Dogs. I had to take Jake back over to their place this morning on my way in to work so that he could watch the house while everyone is out. I walked through the door and it was a cookin' 90-100 degrees in there. I immediately put him outside so that he wouldn't die. So, Kale is at home by himself today again. He better not bark while nobody is home. I feel so bad that he does because it would bug everyone that around there if their home.
I have the divorce papers all ready to go. I'm going to have a couple of people look them over though to see if they are filled in right and if everything that I have on there is right. I'll be hopefully taking them this Friday and if not, it'll be the middle of next week.
This week is full of things. I have institute tonight, fixing the ceiling/roof on Thursday, picking up my bed on Friday and going to the Lamb of God musical production at Gammage, and the ward BBQ and Swim Party on Saturday.
I don't have access to the Internet at home yet because Kent, Terri's husband can't come and connect it for at least another 3 days soooo, I'll be watching movies and going on lots of walks with Kale, which I like anyways. There is a park down the street anyways and heaven knows, that we both need the walk. As the weather begins to cool down, we'll go there more often.
Karen
Friday, September 03, 2010
Applying scriptures
I read this morning in Helaman about Samuel the Lamanite who went to the city and cried repentance on the people who were bad. I actually changed the Nephite people to my own name and Samuels name to the Lords and or his prophet and found myself crying because I was in the same spot at the Nephite people, rude, gross in error, wicked and without feeling toward God and the commandments.
I found myself in humility to acknowledge the Lords hand in everything including losing a family, losing temporal possessions and then he allowing me to work, having a job, having a wonderful ward family, having been given a place to live, a car to drive to get to work, an education and returning back to school. I know that this is something that the Lord wants me to do and a place where I need to be at this time.
I was reminded this morning that as we go through trials and go through this life that ALL the good times are because of HIM and ALL of the issues and trials are also because of HIM and when we rely on him and ask him to help us, we will get through it and we'll be blessed even more, even though we may think that what we have is sufficient.
I was also reminded to return to the Lords house and give thanks and to give my time to those who are waiting patiently for the blessings of the temple.
I was called last night to meet with someone in the bishopric on Sunday morning at 9, soooo, I'll be given a calling, yahoo! I'll also sing in choir too. I love choir and this Sunday will be the first time that I'll be attending. Apparently they practice at the seminary building by Hamilton HS, I don't know where that is, so I hope I find it and make it on time.
Gotta get to work.
Karen
I found myself in humility to acknowledge the Lords hand in everything including losing a family, losing temporal possessions and then he allowing me to work, having a job, having a wonderful ward family, having been given a place to live, a car to drive to get to work, an education and returning back to school. I know that this is something that the Lord wants me to do and a place where I need to be at this time.
I was reminded this morning that as we go through trials and go through this life that ALL the good times are because of HIM and ALL of the issues and trials are also because of HIM and when we rely on him and ask him to help us, we will get through it and we'll be blessed even more, even though we may think that what we have is sufficient.
I was also reminded to return to the Lords house and give thanks and to give my time to those who are waiting patiently for the blessings of the temple.
I was called last night to meet with someone in the bishopric on Sunday morning at 9, soooo, I'll be given a calling, yahoo! I'll also sing in choir too. I love choir and this Sunday will be the first time that I'll be attending. Apparently they practice at the seminary building by Hamilton HS, I don't know where that is, so I hope I find it and make it on time.
Gotta get to work.
Karen
Almost there
I'm almost at my new place. I took pretty much everything over there this morning and left Kale there again for the day. He knows that I'm leaving for work and gets reallllllly sappy.
Just to see what he would do yesterday I went to the garage like I was leaving and then I ran to the office bedroom and hid behind the door, he whined for about 5 minutes and was mad at me and kind of pranced around the place looking for me to see if I really left. He was frustrated that he couldn't open the door to the garage, even though he tried to, I could hear him use his paws on the door.
He finally got smart and started sniffing around the bathroom and the spare bedroom and found me behind the door. It was hilarious to see his reaction and to see what he would do if I would really leave. I heard him barking the other day when I just went to swim. I was hoping he wasn't barking the entire time.
I'll post pictures later as I'll be over there totally tonight but won't have TV or Internet until first thing next week...OMG, what am I supposed to do with my time if I don't have a TV? Swim, read and walk the dog.
I already painted what needed to be painted and the handyman will come on Monday to help me fix the little things. Someone from the ward is going to come on Saturday morning to help me setup the surround sound system to my TV too so that I can at least watch movies...yahoo!
Just to see what he would do yesterday I went to the garage like I was leaving and then I ran to the office bedroom and hid behind the door, he whined for about 5 minutes and was mad at me and kind of pranced around the place looking for me to see if I really left. He was frustrated that he couldn't open the door to the garage, even though he tried to, I could hear him use his paws on the door.
He finally got smart and started sniffing around the bathroom and the spare bedroom and found me behind the door. It was hilarious to see his reaction and to see what he would do if I would really leave. I heard him barking the other day when I just went to swim. I was hoping he wasn't barking the entire time.
I'll post pictures later as I'll be over there totally tonight but won't have TV or Internet until first thing next week...OMG, what am I supposed to do with my time if I don't have a TV? Swim, read and walk the dog.
I already painted what needed to be painted and the handyman will come on Monday to help me fix the little things. Someone from the ward is going to come on Saturday morning to help me setup the surround sound system to my TV too so that I can at least watch movies...yahoo!
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Yahoo, finally
I finally saved enough $$ to buy a new bed. Wow, it has been a month in the making and it because of Heavenly Father that I was able to do so today. I paid for it in full and will pick it up next week! I'm sooooo excited. My own nice bed, finally.
Thank you floor, you have done wonderful wonders for me and my disabled back since April of this year. You have been good to me and now it is time to move on to bigger and better things.
Karen
Keeping in contact
I received the most awesome phone call last night from my former exchange student, Cherry.
We talked for about 30 minutes on school which starts today by the way (09/02), my chocolate chip cookies and how she makes treats for family and friends and they love it and when she has a 3 day weekend to let me know because we'll go to Disneyland together!
The conversation also included the selfishness of Nathan and she didn't think that the entire situation is right or even wrong, she just felt bad because she said that she liked the both of us and was sad to see that we will be in different areas and not together. It was interesting to listener to her and get her perspective and tell me that she was sorry and that she felt bad, which she doesn't have to say or feel at all, it isn't anything that she can fix or change, but none the less, it was sweet.
She has braces, which I'll never understand why, her teeth weren't terrible, they were fine so why she got them it is beyond me.
She is excited to drive a car. She turned 16 on 08/01 and in December she said that she'll take the test and be able to drive, she is soooo excited!
I told her that I have a small box for her and that I'll make some cookies and put them in the box. She got soooo excited.
I have to go to work now, but I needed to tell the world that this is what hosting an exchange student is all about!
Love,
Karen
We talked for about 30 minutes on school which starts today by the way (09/02), my chocolate chip cookies and how she makes treats for family and friends and they love it and when she has a 3 day weekend to let me know because we'll go to Disneyland together!
The conversation also included the selfishness of Nathan and she didn't think that the entire situation is right or even wrong, she just felt bad because she said that she liked the both of us and was sad to see that we will be in different areas and not together. It was interesting to listener to her and get her perspective and tell me that she was sorry and that she felt bad, which she doesn't have to say or feel at all, it isn't anything that she can fix or change, but none the less, it was sweet.
She has braces, which I'll never understand why, her teeth weren't terrible, they were fine so why she got them it is beyond me.
She is excited to drive a car. She turned 16 on 08/01 and in December she said that she'll take the test and be able to drive, she is soooo excited!
I told her that I have a small box for her and that I'll make some cookies and put them in the box. She got soooo excited.
I have to go to work now, but I needed to tell the world that this is what hosting an exchange student is all about!
Love,
Karen
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